(Mars [Barsoom] series, #3)

Tantor Media, 2001

John Carter waits impatiently for the release of his wife from the prison where she was trapped at the conclusion of The Gods of Mars. The rotating tower will only afford her egress after the passage of a year. Six months into his vigil, he shadows a mysterious figure and soon is plunged into a running chase as his enemies gain access to the prison and kidnap his wife, Dejah Thoris. Carter's chase takes him across the terrain of Mars, from the South Pole, through kingdoms of the Red Men, until finally he finds his way to the North Pole, where the lost race of Martian Yellow Men hold sway over all. The chase is fraught with danger from men and beasts alike, and his enemies are always one step ahead.

For the third time, I have returned from Barsoom. And, that's enough trips to the Red Planet for this year for me. Burroughs is as Burroughs does, and I know to take his work for what it is. But when I start hollering at the CD player, I know we're in trouble.

Let's start with the positives. Again, imagination is the key. Burroughs' gives us yet another race of Martians, the lost Yellow Men. Physically not unlike their red counterparts, these Martians live in isolation at the North Pole of Mars. Their domesticated ferocious furry creatures, the apts, provide fur and border patrol. Their giant magnetic tower assures any race invading over the mountainous ice barrier with flying ships will be pulled in and destroyed, and the survivors made slaves.

The most negative reaction I have to this tale, in particular, is Burroughs' use of convenient stupidity to heighten dramatic tension. John Carter is a sharp guy. John Carter is the best fighter on two worlds. John Carter is a dashing hero of perseverance, intelligence and strength.

Except when Burroughs makes him a temporary idiot.

Case in point, number one. John Carter is cleverly disguised as a Yellow Man. His disguise is so perfect that no one would know him. Suddenly, he espies Dejah Thoris in the courtyard. From his room, he calls out to her, but she turns her back on him. Is it the disguise? Of course it is. But it takes four pages (or five CD tracks) for Carter to remember that he is in disguise! He moons and moans and can't understand why the love of his life would reject him! Has she been brainwashed? Has she forsaken him?

Case in point, number two. John Carter enters the throne room of Salensus Oll, leader of leaders ("jeddak of jeddaks") of the Yellow men. Upon entering, he spies a black face behind the curtain behind the throne. There is only one Black Martian in the land of the Yellow Men—Thurid, Carter's sworn enemy. Dejah Thoris stands beside the throne. And what happens next?

For the next two thousand words, John Carter fights the jeddak and his yellow cohorts for the better part of an hour, with his back to Dejah Thoris the entire time. And when she grows silent, he doesn't bother to turn around. Yes, the fighting is so intense and perfectly choreographed that he can't even afford a glance over his shoulder. Now, first of all, it probably wasn't the brightest idea to turn your back and leave your damsel at the mercy of the black assassin behind the curtain. Second of all, you might want to take a quick peek when she grows quiet.

Instead we get this:

How convenient. Thurid has Dejah Thoris and a head start. The chase continues.

I'm sorry, but John Carter just isn't that stupid. He can't be that stupid or he never would have survived the first two novels, never mind this story!

Again, Burroughs goes for convenience and coincidence, mangles the plot, and contradicts his own characters.

Oh yeah, and the looming civil war over religion that was part of the cliffhanger of the last novel? Totally ignored!

While I enjoyed the new elements of Warlord of Mars—the Yellow race, the Arctic beastly apts—I found its long chase plot line and the writing to be the most tedious to endure of the opening trilogy of the Mars series.

John Bolen returns as the narrator with the slightly drawled accent. (See previous review of The Gods of Mars, link below.) Again he performs the tale well, bringing John Carter, and others, to life.

If you like the Mars series, and/or Burroughs' planetary romances, even if you have read them before, you might enjoy the audio versions on your daily commute.

Personally, I've had enough Burroughs for a while, but I will probably listen to other Tantor audio books. They do a good job.